Grow some girl-balls and come out already
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
