Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
