and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
