My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
