This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i came on her dog
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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