Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
