is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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