hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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