pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
