Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
FUCK WHALES
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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