what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
