You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
