I'm lost and stupid without you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize