Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
