Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
