He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
