I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
