Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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