You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
