I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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