the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
