It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
