I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
