she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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