oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
