pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
