Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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