dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
