thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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