So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
