I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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