My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
