Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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