My friends, they love my intelligence
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
