Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
