I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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