we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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