I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
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