I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
