i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
