I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
