why didn't you poke me back
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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