he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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