So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
