I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Randomize
