Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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