i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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