just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
