Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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