Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
