I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize