Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
