I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
