God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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