My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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