I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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