my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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