Even the bartender felt bad for me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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