what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
