conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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