He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
