There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
