Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
