YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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