Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
