I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
