Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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