We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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